A Letter to Mama

I sent you a link to this, but I don’t know how often you check email. I’m guessing you’ll probably get this first.

I started a blog that I’m sure no one will probably read, but that’s ok. I’ve been writing a lot lately and needed an outlet. I write when I have things to work out in my head. Somehow, seeing them on paper makes them more real.

Whether anyone reads it or not doesn’t make it any more or less real.

Unfortunately, my handwriting is so bad that even I can’t read it most of the time. That hasn’t changed.

Fortunately, I can type.

So that’s what I do. And I’ve been doing a lot of lately. A wide range of topics. Everything from Granny Morgan to how to make the perfect duck. Also, social commentary about the absurdity of life in Austin.

Just a bit of everything.

If you want to know what I think about and what takes up my time, take a look: deeroscar.blogspot.com

In the mean time, give Daddy the piece I enclosed. I’m trying to find a way to get home, but it hasn’t happened yet.

Tell Josh and Morgan how proud I am of them and will get them something for graduation when I can afford it. It’s a milestone I wish I could acknowledge a little better.

Things are tight for us right now. I know that you know what that’s like. I learned from you, by the way, that the best thing you ever did was to take the checkbook away from Daddy. I think he may have appreciated it, too.

I had to do the same for Shannon a long time ago. It wasn’t long after we met that he wanted me to take his pay check and dole it back. I said “No, absolutely not”. That was before he went out and blew a weeks pay in one night.

Shannon gladly lets me take care of all things financial these days. As well as all things computer-related.

We have a good life, Shannon and me. We take care of each other when we’re crazy. So far, we haven’t been that way at the same time. At least not too much.

Hospitals, in general, make me a little crazy. Counting down the hours until Shannon finally goes to sleep and wakes up better have taken their toll. But they’ve had their benefit.

It reminds me of what I’m fighting for and for whom I am fighting.

It’s only made our lives richer.

Not the route I would recommend as a first one, but certainly one that works.

You and Daddy taught me things that I’m finding out were rare lessons. Most kids these days don’t seem to get them. Real commitment seems to a dying art-form.

If I can’t make it up there to say it in person, let me tell you now (in type that doesn’t require deciphering my scrawl): I love you both.

Not because I have to. Just because I can.

Learned that one from the two of you, also.

There’s a big difference between what you think you have to do and what you do because you can.

It’s not much, but it’s what I have this evening.
JM