What I Need

I'm so tired these days. Going to Tennessee twice in as many months took its toll. The eleven hours it took to get there by plane and rental car were no easier than the twelve hours it took me get back by car the first time, when I was alone and didn't have to worry about a pokey sister and her dog-zoo.

And my family always seems to be in some sort of uproar over something. Right now, it's my little sister Jill's boyfriend. Mama kicked him out of Jill's place (Mama owns and is still paying for it), but Jill let him come back. Her youngest, Nick, has gone to live with his father in Indiana. So Jill's a wreck, and when she's a wreck, it tends to bleed over into as many other lives as she can let it.

Things are tense up there right now. They were tense when I was there, but they're much worse now.

At work, our annual financial audit starts tomorrow (we got a 3 day reprieve because Margaret had to go out of town), and no matter how well one prepares for an audit, one will always have to pull some document out of one's ass (cleaning it before handing it over, of course) that one would not have expected anyone to care about. And every year they get obsessed with small matter that will probably contradict what they said they year before.

Also, we're supposed to be rolling out a new web site October 1. We have a framework for it, but no content. We (the employees) are supposed to add the content. In addition to all the other stuff that takes up more time than we already have. We got our first training in performing that miracle (and it will take one to get it out on time) on Tuesday. We have 24 days left.

I spent my day creating web forms and an online store. Not exactly in my job description, but most of what I do isn't. And I'd rather do it myself and make sure it's right than try to explain to someone else how and why it needs to be done a certain way. They tend to want to complicate things, but my goal is to roll out the basics and complicate it later. And since they all have their assignments, they won't be looking too closely at mine.

Needless to say, I'm a little frazzled and need a vacation. One that doesn't involve a death. I figured it up the other day, and I have to take at least 2 weeks of vacation between now and June 30, 2008.

I'm hoping that Shannon and I can get to Bastrop for a few days in October or November. Just sit and enjoy the quiet. Grill overpriced hotdogs and maybe a couple of steaks. Build a nice fire. Pretend we're the only people in the world.

It's been a hard Summer, and for once, I'm ready for Fall. I don't normally like it because it's always put me in the mind of death. This time, I'm hoping it puts me in the mind of rebirth.

Or at least out of the mind of anything but the immediate. It's not that I want to deny the reality of the present, but I need some time in limbo, where the only things that are real are right in front of me.

Everything else can just fade into the background to the sound of embers crackling in the fireplace and the mysterious animals making their mysterious calls in the dark of night.

That's what I need.