There Is Nothing Like a Dame: the Other ET

Dame Elizabeth Rosemond Taylor-Hilton-Wilding-Todd-Fisher-Burton-Burton-Warner-Fortensky: the name says it all. She earned to title of Dame even though she was a notorious serial bride who once said in an interview that, while some people might take her many marriages to mean she was a slut, she was, in fact, quite virtuous: she only had sex with men she was married to. I don’t know if that covered before and/or after the fact, but that’s not really any of my business.

While her many marriages are a large part of the fabric of her legend, her true legacy will lie in her films, her courage in being one of the earliest voices for AIDS suffers and her devotion to causes she cared deeply about.

As for films, she made a number of dogs, but the ones that were good were very good. They showcased her extraordinary range of acting talents. From a comedy like “Father of the Bride” to Maggie, the sexpot fighting to save her marriage to a sexually confused husband in “Cat on Hot Tin Roof”, to the demented and tormented Martha in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?”, she made me believe her every time.

And that’s not to mention “Giant”, "A Place in the Sun", “Suddenly Last Summer”, “Night of the Iguana”, “The Last Time I Saw Paris”, “Raintree County”, “Butterfield 8” or “Taming of the Shrew”. Some were met with better critical reception than others, but they’re all great. They will exist as standards to meet as long as movies exist.

But her greater legacy will be her work on behalf of AIDS organizations. I remember that, in the dark, early days of the disease when no one really knew much about it and the right wing was talking about quarantining people diagnosed with the disease, she was among the first celebrities to lend her voice, stand up and say “This talk is just stupid.” She stood up, took center stage and spoke out for a disenfranchised group of people in the midst of an almost hysterical reaction to the disease.

She lent her ability to draw cameras, reporters, crowds and A-list celebrities to the causes of both education and research. She took the strength of her convictions public and demanded attention. And she got it. She used her powers for good.

Her very public stance was a turning point in the larger public’s awareness about the disease. It’s probably the greatest thing she ever did.

Homosexuality was becoming more accepted in the 80’s, but AIDS drove that progress to a screeching halt. The growing acceptance turned to fear. And it’s taken the better part of 30 years to regain that footing. Ms. Taylor was a tireless voice to help us regain it.

She was blunt and frank and honest and open-minded. She never wasted a chance to speak her mind. She never hesitated to call what was stupid, irrational or ridiculous what it was: stupid, irrational and ridiculous.

She had bigger balls than I have. And mine ain’t too shabby. (Or so I’ve been told.)

Thanks to her work, people know more about AIDS, and they’re not so frightened. Thanks partly to her, I can live openly and not have to lie about my life any more. She was one of the first to put a human face on the disease and, by doing so, she helped put a human face on gay people in general. She helped put a human face on me.

I will always love her films. I can’t make through any of them without laughing or crying or cringing in horror at how cruel and manipulative people can be, or doing all three by spells.

But I will love more what she did with her fame. She leveraged it for what was not a popular cause when she started. She stood up. She spoke her mind. And she defied anyone to contradict her.

I guess when you’re Elizabeth Taylor, you can do and say what you want.

I will also always love her for both her passion for men and her "Passion for Men". It was Shannon’s favorite scent, and smelling it reminds me of him. I sometimes spray a little of his last bottle into the air and walk through the mist. I can see him more clearly and hear his voice more distinctly.

She never knew me or even of me, but she gave me gifts that I can’t place a value on. I’m sure I’m not alone in being able to say that. Collectively, her gifts to people like me are immeasurable.

Rest in peace, Ms. Taylor. The good work you so tirelessly devoted your life to will continue, and now it’s your turn to rest.

Thank you for everything.

I’m miss you much.