Who Cares?

Granted, we’ve seen an up-tick in states recognizing gay marriage. Now, New Hampshire is climbing on board, pending a signature from the governor. But I have to wonder where this train is going and where it will end up. If it got derailed in California, is there any hope left? If the most notoriously liberal state in the country denied that basic right to “other than heterosexual”, is there hope?

Yes, there is. And it comes from places that no one in the media might expect.

Iowa’s Supreme Court declared the ban on same-sex marriage unconstitutional with little fanfare and no media events. They issued a ruling and let the media marvel at how backwards Iowa had moved into the modern age. That was before they looked at Iowa’s history.

Turns out it’s one of the most progressive states historically when it comes to social justice. They have been about 100 years ahead of the rest of the country on racial issues. They were enforcing the equal protection clause of the Constitution long before LBJ was even born. They recognized women’s rights almost a century before bra’s started getting burned.

I didn’t realize that Iowa was such a socially progressive state until all this. And they’ve done little to call attention to it, in fact. Not because they don’t want to be the mecca for gay weddings (everybody needs a new income stream these days), but because that’s just not their style.

They’ve never crowed about being progressive. They just like the least amount of interference in their lives that they can get. The don’t want anyone telling them how to live or with whom or what happens when the lights go out. Or stay on, as the case may be.

From the epitome of rural middle-America, we have a landmark ruling that no one who lives there made much of fuss about.

I’m not going to live in Iowa, but that’s mainly because my job is here and it would be a hell of a commute. Also, it gets too cold up there.

Still, developments there hearten me.

As does the change in attitude of my own mother, who is definitely not from Iowa. I don’t think she’s ever been there, as a matter of fact. But she’s learned that my relationship is as valid as any relationship between one man and one woman.

She wouldn’t probably endorse a gay marriage initiative in her state, but Tennessee has long been slow on the social justice front. And so has Texas, where I live, for that matter.

And in case anyone’s wondering, we define a marriage as a committed relationship between a man and a man. No third parties are invited to the party.

Regardless of obstacles, I hold on to hope that we will one day be recognized as a sanctioned couple. And I’m not sure why it’s so important. It may just be that I’m getting old and want some recognition from the government of what everyone else seems to be okay with.

By and large, nobody seems to care but legislators and judges.