Friends in Deed

John was transferred to a long term care facility earlier today. Shannon said that he had been expecting something like that, just given John’s general incoherence and disorientation. His problems aren’t so much needing urgent care as much as needing someone to make sure he eats and takes his pills when he should.

And of course, I had already ordered flowers in memory of his mother, who died over the weekend, and that were to be delivered to the hospital he was in. Because of the heavy delivery schedule around Christmas, they’re not canceling or revising any deliveries this week. I did get an email saying that they would provide a replacement order, so I sent them the new location and will see how it all shakes out.

Shannon has gotten the impression that John’s daughter has become so overwhelmed by the situation that she’s distancing herself from it and everything to do with it. I’m afraid that it may fall to us to take care of things we weren’t counting on taking care of, but we will certainly do what we can. We’ll what we can and have to leave it at that.

Shannon and John go back decades as friends. (I was probably in middle school when they met.) And Shannon and I are in agreement that we help friends out when they need it. Even if it’s nothing more than calling regularly.

Shannon’s physical condition precludes many things, and his mental condition sometimes makes it difficult for him to deal with the totality of the situation. And my hours of availability are limited by my job. I have tons of vacation time racked up, but I have to approach taking unplanned time off very carefully.

Even though I have an assistant again, we still have very little duplication of responsibilities. That means most of my work is waiting when I get back. One of the pitfalls of making oneself indispensable, I guess. Job-security: yes; convenience: no.

Hopefully, things will settle down sometime soon. Given the last several months, I don’t hold out much hope, though. They’ve been some of the hardest of my life.

Still, we’ll muddle on, soldier through and tough it out. We’ll do what we can and hope that it’s enough.

Neither Shannon nor I take relationships lightly, whether they be romantic or Platonic. It took months of his pursuing me for me to commit to anything more than a one-night stand. Many months.

When he stood by me while my best friend was dying of cancer, he turned my head a bit. He didn’t run, like most people do any time death enters the equation. People don’t like to be associated with death, no matter to what degree.

And few of them would go to a funeral with you.

I guess this is the long way around saying that we’ll be there for John, even though his condition is only barely treatable and most certainly terminal. Parkinson’s takes no prisoners. Nor does it spare anyone.

So the days, weeks and months ahead are going to be more difficult, rather than less, I’m betting.

And all we have to give is our friendship in deed.